Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize