Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
