do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
