Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
