no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
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I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
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You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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