I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize