he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
