words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
