dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
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i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
please don't ironically join a cult
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