this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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