I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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