Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
