My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
