we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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