Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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