butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
