My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
