used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
