Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
