i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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