is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize