Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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