Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
