she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
