Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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