from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We are all done wearing pants today
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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