try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Boobs speak an international language.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
