Pappa wants mamma naked
What did we do last night that was yellow?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
