At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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