Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize