a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
