I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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