Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
