Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
