It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
