And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Randomize
