she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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