im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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