no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
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i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
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"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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