why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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