So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
