is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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