So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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