She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize