Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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