I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
