Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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