Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
