i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
pray to the hookup gods
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
