Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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