All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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