she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
