Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
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i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
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Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
50% drunk capacity currently
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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