My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
