Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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