We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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