Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I got inside last night via doggy door
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
