In the future we'll all be gay
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
