that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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