You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
