You can't special order awesome
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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